Not feeling it!

    I need to get my 'real life' sorted so I don't have to worry as much anymore. I want to be the good old 'happy' me again who enjoys the things she does. I need to stop forcing myself to continue doing things I used to enjoy so much. With the joy being overshadowed by worries and neglecting myself there is no true fun. If I do not take care of myself right now, it will not end well. I want fun again ... Don't get me wrong, I love you all, but for now I have to put myself first. Seems egoistic and it does feel that way for me. However I do realize both you and me will benefit eventually.
    I love to stream, I love running a server for you, I love to hang out with you guys and gals, I love to do many things with or for you all. Too bad you and me can only truly enjoy these things when I am feeling well. For a long time I have not truly been enjoying this anymore, but forced myself to continue. This has nothing to do with any of you, but all has to do with me. I try to enjoy, I pretend to smile and we do have our 'good' moments, but deep down I am crying rivers and feel unhappy, not because of you, but because of ME. This needs to change.
    My headaches are terrible and seem to recur on a regular basis now. I still haven't had surgery and this won't even happen, because I stopped making appointments needed to get there. My house is a mess and has been for over a year. Not answering the phone, checking my mail, or responding to the doorbell. I am spiraling down and down into depression. I am as depressed as can be and need to put a hold on this before I reach the bottom. I have tried and fought so damn hard all my life to get somewhere, but got frikkin' tired, exhausted and burned-out. Disappointed, upset, angry ... I hardly feel or care anymore ... fleeing is not a solution, this needs to end, right NOW.
    I am sorry, I will be around, I can't do this alone, I need those who love me or care for me. I will be there when I am and won't be when I am not, just can't make any promises. I need to take care of ME now that I still can. Hope you can understand and this doesn't come as a shock.

Love you all ... muahhh

Damn Twitch!

What the fuck! Three times in a row now that Twitch frustrates the shit out of me. Last weekend on Saturday Twitch decided to disconnect my stream several times and dropping frames on me for not being able to stay connected to me. Then that Sunday I could not even stay connected at all (and as of yet no reply from Twitch Support). Now tonight I can't even connect to a server forcing me to quit XSplit through my task manager even.

So yay ... Hitbox only tonight! Come join the fun, because I am not letting my night being ruined by Twitch!
Devilin Pixy on Hitbox

Wipe in about a week!

The long awaited 'last wipe' for Starbound is almost there. Soon we will finally be able to truly start something big without too much of a worry to lose all again. Can't wait and really looking forward to it.

http://playstarbound.com/info-about-the-upcoming-patch/

Finally done!

    Yay, finally done clicking and copy/paste-ing an announcement to all my followers on Twitch(420). Now I can completely focus on Hitbox. I will try to stream to both channels for a while if all works well on Twitch's end. Lately I couldn't stream for the life of me on Twitch. Looking forward to streaming on Hitbox though and can't wait to move over completely.

    As for the Stream Team, I can still use some suggestions for a Team name on Hitbox. So please let me know any good suggestion you can come up with!

The list of suggestions collected so far:

Jobless Delinquents

RPG-Real People Gaming

The Lukewarm Gamers

The Hit casters

Squid McSquiddingtons (or one of the other 15 squid or derpy names)

The Visual Orgasm

Horatio Hornblowers

Hansom Harassers

One of the 50 squid names

Twitch Refugees(or some variant)

OLS-Old Legendary Soldiers

XStream

The Sandbox

The Box Office

Bare with Us

RatedR

The Twerks

Team Myth

Dream Team

Mythical Cast

Fairy Universe

The Old Foogies

    I will be streaming some more L.A. Noire tomorrow. Hope to see you all on Twitch (if it works) and Hitbox (works so far)
:-)

Team! I am ready ...

Team! I am ready when you are on all my social media for the next 5 hrs. Hit me up ...